Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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