do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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