yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
