We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
