You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
