I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
