Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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