So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
