It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
