a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
