And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
