I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
