How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
