I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
