I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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