the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
