this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
