you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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