I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
