marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
