When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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