There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
