We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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