i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
