I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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