Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
