Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
