Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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