Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
