can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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