dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
