I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
