Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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