As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
