i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
