that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm always down for nudity.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
