i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
