ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
