I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you never un-have a 4some
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
