i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The air was thick with penises
I can't turn off my feet"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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