I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
