Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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