Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
