Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
