You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
