Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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