did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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