My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
