This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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