STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
